Stop treating your friends like a commodity. A good friend will understand why friendship is so important. It’s not because we want people to pay us for our friendship; rather it’s that we want people to feel comfortable enough to give and receive friendship as freely and freely as possible, without feeling like they are being sold something that they don’t need or want (and just because they are friends with us doesn’t mean they need or want anything from us).
There is a stereotype that young women are reserved and shy, preferring to stay in the background. While this may be true, it is important to note that socially speaking, they can be just as outgoing and eager to connect with people as men. Chances are you have a number of friends who you feel very comfortable with and have strong respect for. It’s this type of friendship that has been dubbed “the golden rule” (and for good reason): respect your friend for the things she does well, not for what she does poorly. In general, we should all strive to treat others the way we want them to treat us; but sometimes we don’t do this well enough. These behaviors can be harmful, or at least self-defeating:
• Treating people in a manner that is offensive or demeaning
• Discouraging others from contributing because they do not deserve it (or making it seem like your contribution is more valuable than theirs)
There are ways to change these negative behaviors however:
• Learn how to do things well yourself by asking questions and improving your own skills until you get there (this will take time)
• Try not to judge others harshly if they make mistakes; yet show compassion if they have done something right (or if they have done something terrible)
We all have friends we’d like to have more of. It’s just a matter of asking for the things we want, and a little bit of good will. But how do you know when to ask? And what should you say? I’ve heard that you should wait until you feel like you’re really close to someone. But some people say that it’s best to make a request as soon as possible, so that the other person feels like they can help you out immediately. In a post on Buffer, Brad Frost shares five ways to be more generous with your time and kindness. The good news is that each of these strategies can be applied in different situations and contexts:
1) When someone asks for something you can help them with it directly (e.g., pick up the phone and call them).
2) When someone asks for something else (e.g., run errands for them).
3) When someone wants something from you but doesn’t expect anything in return (e.g., pay off their credit card bill).
4) When someone asks for something from other people (e.g., ask your cousin why he’s been acting weird lately).
5) When an individual is feeling down or lonely, offer your company or advice or simply talk about yourself (this is not a social situation!).
In his book “The Essential Difference,” co-author Dan Pink discusses the concept of the ’empathy gap.’ As the title suggests, the empathy gap is a gap between how people perceive and respond to others and how they perceive and respond to themselves. This is a valuable and common sense distinction, but it has largely been neglected in today’s society. We are taught that empathy is some difficult task requiring deep-seated qualities of character; however, empathy can be as simple as offering help where it is needed. We don’t always ask for help, or if we do ask for help, we don’t get it. I recently read a wonderful book called “The Gift Of Empathy: Transform Your Relationship with People” by Jean Twenge. It’s not only a great read in itself but also an excellent explanation of how to develop empathy at work (as well as at home).
In this post I will discuss two ways you can practice good empathy: Let me give you an example of each one:
1) Be Open – This one sounds obvious but it is surprisingly difficult to remember when you are doing something completely different every day; every second of every day! Be open to listening to your friends’ frustrations and struggles with their daily lives—and learn from them. Get involved in conversations with your friends; make time for them on social media; and treat them with respect.
2) Don’t Say That You Know – When you hear someone say “I know so much about that subject,” don’t cut them off! Don’t tell them what they know because you think they don’t know enough about it—because if you tell them what they know, then they won’t be able to talk about what THEY need to talk about (something you will have learned). Instead, let them speak freely without interruption—or let them redirect their conversation toward what you need to talk about (something else).
In this post, you learned about the skills required for a good friend, and how to be a good friend. You learned that the first step to becoming a good friend is to respect your buddy. And you learned that it is important to be generous, because if a buddy has nothing in return, he or she will not need any help from you. But there is another important skill: empathy . Empathy is the ability to understand others’ emotions and thoughts in order to help them make better decisions. When we are empathy-challenged in our lives, it can lead us astray either by making decisions based on our own feelings or by giving too much advice instead of listening carefully. Empathy can make you a better friend. The first step of being a good friend is to respect your buddy. Respect means that you take into consideration the feelings of your buddy; generosity means that you give without expecting anything in return; and empathy means that you understand others’ feelings. You can start by learning more about your buddy and how he or she works. They could be working at one company or another (different industries), so learn their names and titles and what they do in their day-to-day work lives (or at least what they used to do). You can also ask them for their opinions on things like product designs or marketing plans, since everyone has an opinion on those things (especially if they have worked on those things before). Then take mental notes on everything they say – what interests them most, what challenges them most, what excites them most… as well as any frustrations – because these things are often clues as to what needs more attention from you both personally and professionally (if nothing else it will make you more likely to delve into these matters yourself). The next step is generosity . If people have something valuable which they give away freely without expecting anything in return, then the world looks brighter for everyone! So ask your buddies about their projects: could there be ways you could contribute?